Years ago, my husband and I had a young woman living with us who needed help growing into the person God created her to be. Because of the pain of her childhood, relationships were a constant struggle for her and it was no different with us. She struggled to connect with both me and my husband, sometimes becoming defensive or feeling wounded. We were trying to negotiate a particularly thorny issue when, all of a sudden, I had a revelation and saw the problem clearly: she had all walls and no boundaries. In that moment, I was aware that the primary thing she had had to learn growing up was how to defend and protect herself.

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