Shaping Your Child’s Identity With God

As parents, we have the incredible privilege of partnering with God to help our children discover who God made them to be. A simple place to start is by researching the meaning of your child’s name.

In Biblical times, naming children was not taken lightly. People strongly believed that names influenced identity and destiny, so simply saying the child’s name became a declaration and a reminder of who they were.

Example:

Name: Deborah

Meaning: If you do a quick search, you’ll find that Deborah means “bee” or “formalizer.”  If you dig a little further, you’ll notice that the root word actually means “to speak” or  “pronounce.” 

Identity/Destiny: In the Bible, Deborah was a prophetess and judge. She spoke and pronounced God’s word over others. So, her name was actually announcing and declaring her destiny from the first moment it ever came out of her parents’ mouths!

After finding the meaning of your child’s name, spend some time asking Jesus about how that meaning relates to your child’s identity and destiny. The chart below can help us remember what God’s voice sounds like as we are listening for His response. 

What do we mean when we talk about listening for God’s voice? Most of the time, God communicates with us through words and images that come to our mind during prayer and times of intentional connection with Him. It happens so naturally, we might be inclined to dismiss it as just our own thoughts. But if we understand that we are connected to God and have “the mind of Christ” (1 Cor 2:16), then our prayer time becomes a two-way dialogue through which we really do “hear” God. His “voice” is very distinct from the other thoughts in our head and with practice we learn to recognize it.

Sometimes, when we look up the meaning of a name, it can appear to have a negative connotation. What then? The answer is simple. We remember what God’s voice sounds like and then ask Him for insight on what He says the name signifies and how it relates to the child’s identity & destiny.

Example:

Name: Mary

Meaning: Bitter

A conversation with Jesus might go something like this:

(Parent) Jesus, the definition I discovered says Mary’s name means bitter. What do You say about her name, identity and destiny?

(Jesus’ response) Mary will take bitter things and make them sweet. She will help transform people’s perspectives of “bitter” situations and bring peace, healing and comfort.

Try this exercise yourself on behalf of your child. Afterwards, consider how Jesus’ response made you feel. Was it kind? Encouraging? Positive? Life-giving? If the answer is YES, then great! Let what Jesus says become your prayer over your child’s destiny. When you hear from God and align your prayers with His heart, you are praying in agreement with Him about your child; these prayers of agreement then become powerful declarations!

Also, know that it is never too early or too late to begin! You may start declaring your child’s destiny from before birth, or you may discover this exercise after your child has grown. You have NOT missed it! Remember, every time your child’s name has been spoken, heavenly identity has been released over them whether they (or you) realized it. 

As your child grows, it is important to continue aligning your prayers with God’s view of their identity & destiny - whether your child appears to be living that out or even headed in that direction. When God sees your child (at whatever age) He sees them for who He created them to be. 

Example:

Name: Gideon

Meaning: Mighty man of valor / Great warrior

Identity/Destiny: When we first read about Gideon, we find him fearful and in hiding from the Midianites.  The Angel of the Lord appears to him and says, “The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior” (Judges 6:12). 

God did not relate to Gideon according to his current mindsets or behaviors, He saw him and spoke to him based on who He destined Gideon to be - a valiant warrior who would eventually deliver Israel from the Midianites. God “called to” Gideon’s true identity and you can do the same with your child.

Another way to discover more about your child’s destiny is to pay attention to the things they are drawn to. What is their favorite superhero, color, hobby, or animal? What do they say they want to be when they grow up? While some of these preferences may change over time, Jesus can still speak to you now about how they are relevant to who they are and who He made them to be. 

Examples: 

(Parent) Jesus, Eric loves the color red. What is in your heart for him that is represented by red?

(Jesus) Eric is bold and passionate. He won’t be afraid to stand up for what is right.

(Parent) Jesus, Ashley loves tigers. What do tigers represent for her?

(Jesus) Ashley has been created strong and courageous, just like tigers!

(Parent) Jesus, Mark loves Ironman. What does Ironman represent for him? 

(Jesus) Ironman is smart, brave and wants to help people. These are characteristics Mark carries!

A great way to remember what Jesus has told you about your children is to keep a journal for each of them. You can write down what He shows you about them, and then use that to pray in agreement with God about them. You can pray with confidence, knowing your prayers and declarations help shape them into who He has shown you they are!